Why The Chainsmokers are wrong to refuse my Venmo request

0
36

Image: Getty Images for iHeart

The Chainsmokers are a DJ duo and whether you love them or hate them, you love them.

I’m waiting for Spotify to release my official numbers, but I’ve listened to their songs more than I’d like to admit.

Last Friday, I realized it was about time I paid for some of their songs on iTunes. Yet, while The Chainsmokers make bangers that are dope as heck, I wasn’t willing to spend $2.58 of my own money.

But life isn’t about waiting for the beat to drop, it’s about learning to bust a move on the floor as soon as you hear the first note of "Roses."

Which means I decided to ask The Chainsmokers themselves for the money. I think they have a lot more of it than I do, unless their student loans also just kicked in. It was surprisingly easy to find them on Venmo, so I sent the request to both Drew and Alex, writing that "I will use this money to buy 2 of your hit songs on iTunes."

It was worth a shot. I figured, I’m just a girl, sending a Venmo request, hoping that she’ll finally purchase two songs by the only DJ duo consisting of Andrew Taggart and Alex Pall.

But life twists and turns, not unlike a Chainsmokers song. I didn’t expect them to answer, but suddenly, I was reading the worst email I’ve ever received. (And I learned that The Chainsmokers didn’t win a Teen Choice Award via email!) I tried to deny the email’s subject but I couldn’t escape reality: Drew Taggart declined my request.

I was crushed. I felt like someone had stolen my mattress.

I tweeted about the heartbreak while I held out hope that Alex Pall might still send me $1.29. But then, The Chainsmokers began to spread the word about what I had done, as I learned from my coworker and fellow Chainsmokers obsessive, Tricia Gilbride.

Alex Pall posted on Snapchat about it, saying, "Fans have found me and Drew on Venmo and they’re hitting us up for money."

What he continues on to say might upset you. It certainly upset me.

Alex says, "Jessye McGarry, respect, but I’m not giving you $1.29 to buy my own music."

Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed I’d some day hear one of The Chainsmokers say my full name on Snapchat. It was supposed to be the greatest moment of my life, and yet, I was bummed as hell. The only other time I had been this sad was when I learned The Chainsmokers lost the 2016 American Music Award for Collaboration of the Year.

First, by the time I saw the video, I knew I could only get a maximum of $1.29 from The Chainsmokers since Drew already passed. I had already decided on "Roses" after conducting a Twitter poll. Second, it was hurtful to be called a "fan" when I am so much more. Third, if you really respected me, you’d just give me the $1.29! I’m giving it back to you.

Assuming the other Chainsmoker comes through and sends me $1.29, which song should I get

— Jessye McGarry (@jessyemcgarry) December 9, 2016

Things began to spiral out of control. After I asked for money, other people sent them money for a variety of strange reasons. Someone sent them $50 and asked for a private concert. Someone else sent $1.69 for giving Tucson a shoutout in "Closer."

To avoid carrying out any of the odd tasks their fans paid them to do, The Chainsmokers wisely said they would donate all of it to charity and match the amount they receive.

That night they tweeted about it, yet failed to mention what had started it all: my very simple request for $1.29 from each of them so I could buy their music.

Lol this is insane people keep sending me money on Venmo. Gonna match it and donate it 🙂

— THE CHAINSMOKERS (@TheChainsmokers) December 10, 2016

I get it. They’re super busy. Later that night, Drew and Alex played at New York City’s hottest event for 14-year-olds whose parents let them listen to the cool radio station in the car: Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden.

I did not attend, but my coworker and fellow Chainsmokers obsessive Martha Tesema did, and she sent me this Snapchat from their set.

Image: martha tesema

They gave a shoutout to Westchester! They praised Westchester, the fleece-lined hat sitting atop New York City, but didn’t bother to give me a shoutout for what became a bunch of people sending them money.

But what I’d love far more than a shoutout is $1.29 in my Venmo account.

They’ve donated $2,000 to the Pets for Vets foundation, which is great, but that has nothing to do with what I initially wanted and still want.

While Alex verbally declined my request, the actual request remains outstanding. I sent him a reminder on Sunday, but he hasn’t responded yet. But, I know they were hard at work thinking of the name for their fans. Welcome to the world, Chainslayers.

So, I’m still waiting. However, I invite all of you, dear readers, to send me $1.29. I promise I will spend it on a Chainsmokers song of your choice.